I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
