i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
