ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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