I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
