I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
