wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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