im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize