but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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