If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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