Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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