We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize