so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
