the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize