thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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