I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
