Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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