So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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