Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
