So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
