I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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