Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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