Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
