I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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