Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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