I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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