yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
