You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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