Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
