The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
