bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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