So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize