So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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