We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
