Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
