Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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