He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
