I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize