and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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