so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
