Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
