So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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