No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
