oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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