I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
