i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
