i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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