So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
