i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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