took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My dick has a subreddit
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
