there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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