I hate all girls vehemently.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
