how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
