Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
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she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
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It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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