My Higher Power is John Stamos
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize