just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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