the day after is always just damage control
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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