The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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