what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This baby is an asshole
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize